Part 3: 10 Months In Yerwada Jail

Photo by Isadora Kosoksky

Click here for the first & second part.

Are you in therapy?

I’m kind of in the middle of changing therapists. In a way, jail was very healing for me. You asked about work - I’m so lucky that there’s so much shit that can be done online. I’m a freelancer. So, these clients don’t really care or I know them before and chose to help me out. They know me so they’re like oh fuck, this one’s a dangerous person. If I didn’t have these options, I’d be pretty fucked. The only reason I can talk to you or show my face publicly is because I’m earning. That gave me some self worth back.

I’m glad.

Going to jail is the worst thing that can happen to anyone right? It’s like the epitome of fuck up. What’s the one thing your parents tell you, man? Just don’t kill yourself or end up in jail. 

(laughs) Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. I don’t know how else to react to this.

It is funny, in retrospect. And all these stupid fucks in the party circuit who’re like ya I do da kokaeena, I do da charlie and shit, they’re also judgmental. They look at me and they’re like - whoa, jail and all.

You never got in touch with that guy?

My soch was a bit cheap. I suffered so much, I wanted him to suffer. So, yeah I did get in touch briefly.

He’s not in your life anymore?

Nah. But, if he can help me in some way, he’ll have to help me. That’s on him.

Do you have a lawyer now?

I do, but he’s a Bombay guy. And, that’s an issue in Pune. Pune Court rejected my bail because there’s that one guy like I told you who takes all the cases. My lawyer got my bail from the Bombay court. 

How did it affect your relationship with your mother?

Now, it’s much better. In the past, I wasn’t seeing things from a bigger perspective. I’d blame my family a lot for a lot of things, especially my mom. I was a very selfish person, dude. When I went inside, I was able to be my real self with them. They found out I was doing all these things, seeing this person. Ever since college, I was never home. Now, I’m at home, closer to my family, to my sister. It’s improved my relationship with them. Mostly, because they stood by me. If they’d abandoned me and shit, that would be different. And, I understood their character, that they’re willing to stand by me at my worst. 

And, how do you think it changed you?

I think that I’m actually a lot happier in my life right now because I know how bad it can be. I’m very grateful for what I have. 

Would having an expensive lawyer change things for you?

This guy na, ----, you have to hire him. If you hire him, he’ll extort money from you. He’ll say he has to pay the public prosecutor, the investigative officer, the clerk in the courtroom. He’ll give you this list of people and say pay 1 lac to this guy, 1 lac to that guy. After all of this, he’ll be like now, my fees. And, I don’t have that kind of money. If I have to get a clean chit, a get out of jail card, I’ll have to hire him. But I can’t afford him so I dunno.

How much would it cost?

He’ll size you up and then ask. There was one woman inside who was dealing heroin for 30-40 years. But for her, he asked for 50k as a bribe because that’s what he thinks she can afford. 

So because he thinks you’re English speaking/urban, he’ll extort more from you?

It’s possible. Another possibility is he’ll be like there’s no man in my family, my dad isn’t around, there’s no brother, two unmarried girls. I’ll have to use these cards to appeal to his chauvinism. If it helps, why not?

How long until the case is heard?

No idea. It could be two years, five years or ten years. You have to pay money for the case to make it to court fast. 

And you can’t leave the country until then?

If I have to go somewhere, I’ll have to submit an application to court and pay 50k as a deposit. I only get that money back once I come back and return my passport. So, my lawyer who’s fighting my case is trying to tell the truth to the court, that I was framed. Also, because when the charge sheet comes out, they’ve written 200-400 stamps of LSD and shit. When the lab result comes out, it’ll show that all of that is nakli. He’s arguing this way. While this may be the truth, it’s not going to help me. Because, why would cops try to hurry it up? They’ll delay my case because they might get fucked. If ---- was my lawyer, it might go along better cuz cops will be like “---- hai. Everything will happen quietly.” I’m just waiting now. Every month, I’m supposed to go show my face in court in Shivaji Nagar but until now, I haven’t got a date because of the lockdown.

Anything else?

Two of my friends had an MPID case inside. One of them had such a bad time, dude. Her father was in jail. Her mother was in jail. She lost her father while she was in jail. She didn’t even do anything. She was the sleeping director of her Dad’s money and she got fucked. Otherwise, she’s actually a stylist. But, they may have deserved it because they misappropriated the aam admi’s money. 

So, like the Government. 

Yeah dude, I swear. I see so many ministers with 10 cases, murder, attempt to murder, spent some time in jail. I’m like - should I join a political party now?

(laughs). Thanks for doing this, dude. I really appreciate it. I know it must have been triggering for you.
I actually like talking about it with you. You’re not judgmental. You’re cool, dude.

So are you, man.

If you like my work, you can subscribe & share or support me by buying me a coffee here.