A few years ago, I started tracking my own movements in a journal. In the mornings I’d write down what I planned to do that day, and at night I’d write down what I’d done. This practice was impassive and dispassionate—only slightly less dead-eyed than a to-do list or a time card. Emotional excavation was prohibited. I didn’t even check to see if, by the end of the day, I’d done what I’d planned. The goal was only to pull myself out of my head and into the position of observing the tangible contents of my life: getting a coffee, reading a book, going to the post office, doing yoga, cleaning the kitchen. From the inside of my depressive slump, I simply needed proof that things were happening. That I was capable of imagining things for myself and also doing them.
"And I wonder if by assuming growth is always the goal, we become too fixated on measuring our progress (or berating our lack of it), when we could be assessing our rhythm. Our ability to not just accept but embrace the animating tension of our shifting wants, needs, and abilities."
This so resonates with me right now...this idea to a) notice the shifting wants needs and abilities but to be a tuned to how to respond or not to this new awareness. And for me it's about it's okay to change my mind, my direction my output. When I was younger I was so fixated on finishing and doing everything I promised to others that the last five years I've been trying to focus on doing and finishing things for myself... but then getting caught in the same loop of sticking with something that might not be working any longer and should be discarded... like your journalling.
Love this..
"And I wonder if by assuming growth is always the goal, we become too fixated on measuring our progress (or berating our lack of it), when we could be assessing our rhythm. Our ability to not just accept but embrace the animating tension of our shifting wants, needs, and abilities."
This so resonates with me right now...this idea to a) notice the shifting wants needs and abilities but to be a tuned to how to respond or not to this new awareness. And for me it's about it's okay to change my mind, my direction my output. When I was younger I was so fixated on finishing and doing everything I promised to others that the last five years I've been trying to focus on doing and finishing things for myself... but then getting caught in the same loop of sticking with something that might not be working any longer and should be discarded... like your journalling.
Thanks for the insights...